test scores

I'm feeling discouraged and demotivated. Pretty severely. Test scores came out a few days ago and while I vacillate on how much importance I place on them on a personal level, I know that my school is being harshly judged on our scores. We are one of only a few middle schools in the district (out of like 25 middle schools) that didn't improve. This year is going to be more of the same crap that I've been hearing since I began three years ago--all kinds of "quick fix" strategies that are going to make our test scores go up. Well, we haven't had time to get good at anything in those three years, because they keep throwing new things at us, and our scores have stagnated. The thing that frustrates me the most is that I don't understand why OUR scores are stagnating and all of these other schools are making double digit gains. Lots of theories are being thrown around--ideas in our district, across the state, and even across the country. Overall, California made gains, and our district outpaced those gains. So what's wrong with my school, and conversely, what's wrong with my teaching and my colleagues' teaching? You might not think this is personal, but it is intensely personal to me.

On a personal level, I feel very mixed about my scores. There are two trends that are going to sound kind of incongruous. The majority of my 8th graders's English test scores from the 2008-2009 school year are lower than the scores they earned on the 7th grade test the previous year. So after a year with me, their scores slipped. However, my 28% of my 8th graders who tested in May 2009 earned a score of proficient or advanced (these indicate grade level skills), while only 24% of my 8th graders who tested in May 2008 earned a score of proficient or advanced. So is my teaching improving? What does this say about my students, about me, about my school, about the 8th grade test? And what about all of the amazing writing that my students did this year? A lot of that is not tested--and yet, I think that when my students begin 9th grade this fall, and they are asked to write an analytical essay about something they read, they are going to feel confident and prepared because they wrote soooo many essays in 8th grade.

There's so much more to teaching than the tests--but as a parent on the radio so eloquently put it yesterday, kids who are learning what they need to know will do well on the test and in other areas of school as well--so I still take this pretty seriously. Frustrated! What do you think?

memories of summers past

i woke up this morning with a memory of the *feeling* of waking up in Masaya, Nicaragua to go teach. every morning there (pretty much all the time) my face felt sticky and even though it was warm out, i never wanted to get out of bed. not because i didn't want to go teach--i liked my job--but just because i don't like getting out of bed.

getting up in the morning to teach in the summer just feels different than working during the school year. summer school is fleeting...you have your kids for a pretty short period of time, then it's over. more than that, though, is something that i don't feel like i can describe. just the feeling of waking up in the morning in the summer to work.

it's amazing to think back on summer school in Watts and remember how early we got up and how we had no clue what the heck we were doing. wow! i am teaching the same sort of class this summer (actually it begins in an hour), an intervention class for kids who failed during the school year. but, this year, even though the first day this year felt similar to Watts and i was nervous and not sure what to expect, i have quickly fallen into my groove and become comfortable in what i'm doing. it's very reassuring--i felt a little bit distressed on my first day of summer school because the kids were being so talkative. turns out they were testing me and i was giving them an "i'm nervous" vibe (cause i was). i was way more confident the past few days and today they really rose to the occasion. it's nice that the classes and days are short and it feels like time is passing pretty quickly....i can't complain about earning $3G.

i hope you are all having a good summer, too!!

from Friday 3rd period

wrote this in a fit of reflection on Friday morning, third period…

being a teacher is…

beautiful & ugly
hard & easy
intense & moving
rewarding & frustrating
the hardest job ever
the best job ever
and every day I learn something new about my students and about myself

already in less than 3 hours at work I have:
1) had a student ask me why I didn’t send him a message back on his email yesterday
2) send two students to the office for discipline issues and then gotten letters of apology for both of them
3) talked with a student who immigrated here from Columbia two years ago about his experience starting school in the United States
4) Complimented one class for their very hard work cooperating with each other
5) Scolded 6 students and apologized for two scholdings.

planning

(the title references one of my favorite activities in the world. for example, we just planned our menu for the week and then i sent jesse off to the grocery store with a list of veggies. i also made a list for trader joe's. but i digress.)

i was in the shower at the ymca this morning when i got a brilliant inspiration. just goes to show that it's helpful to slow down and reflect on things sometimes. i don't sit around and think enough. i was reflecting on how my BTSA coach asked me if i had the kids reflect after they wrote each essay, and i said no. so, next year one goal is that i want my kids to be reflect. then i began thinking about other things i want for my kids and before i knew it i had this awesome mantra for next year, to guide everything we do in the classroom. it's kind of like a daily, weekly, monthly cycle:
prepare (bring supplies to class, take care of business before class, socialize before you come in, prepare mentally to learn)
expect (expect to learn. expect a lot of yourself and others. expect to be successful.)
persevere (good vocab word, eh? be perseverant in your work, even when you get frustrated)
reflect (reflect on how you did in class, reflect on how you did on an assignment, reflect on how you want to improve)

so this mantra with these four words would be the basis for my classroom rules. KIPP has a mantra--why not me? if i'm not going to KIPP, then i'm going to make my classroom the best place for learning that it can be. and i think that means taking teaching and learning more seriously. this is *my* mantra, also!! i'm so excited!!

the best part is, i'm going to get to try it out in summer school. summer school, you ask? yes, you read that right, i am teaching summer school. why, you ask? to earn some extra money. getting to know more students who i might have in the coming years and also getting to try out some new ideas and new systems for just four weeks and make improvements before the school year begins. the seller just approved our house bid so we need money for that....keep your fingers crossed for us!!!

things are good. i'll keep you apprised of the house status.